The Bodysong Blog

14 April 2024

     At the end of 2023, I searched long and hard on what part of my personal life I was open to sharing publicly, and how I wanted to move forward with bodysong. I decided that what I wanted to share and the way I wanted to love myself more was via my creative work.  I wanted to make more time to do work that feeds my soul and brings me joy. I also want to document my process in hopes that this would spring forth a creative community, and that I  could have some public accountability. 

     I began by stating this on Facebook and posting weekly.  I did this on my personal page, it worked.  I attracted an accountability partner and someone reached out to me to co-write.  The project that I am working on is a children’s story that I wrote and am now editing/rewriting entitled “Asha’s Dance Lesson.”

     I maintain my initial vision of sharing my progress by acknowledging what I worked on each week, but also in these posts what I had to do to make it possible. 

     To make this post possible today, my son is with his father, I turned off my phone, and have reached a tipping point emotionally. It is necessary that I tune into myself, to find an equilibrium in my hectic life. 

     I embarked on this journey at the beginning of the year and was posting regularly on Fridays, so far I have edited the beginning of the story, changed the end, to do this I have had to write in my car, given my son extended TV time, and written between classes at work. Some of what took place during the first 10 weeks. 

      Then work picked up and I fell off the wagon and the fear of being seen and imposter syndrome kicked in. .  This is me getting back on the wagon again for the one hundred fifty thousandth time. Lol! 

     I intend to post weekly and to complete the editing/rewriting by June 30th. It’s a children’s story and I am past the halfway point.  At this point, all I can say is that I am committed to documenting my journey and posting weekly. 

     I am a single mother to a vibrant elementary school-aged boy and my responsibilities run deep sometimes I am not sure of the depth of my well. Not sure where you find yourself, but I thank you for making it this far and will continue to share my journey with you.  Thank you.  

Best,   Petagay

April 19

So this week I was my distraction.  I did work on the book, ( Asha’s Dance Lesson) . I am winding down but struggling to decide on the language for the end of the story.  I know how the story ends, I know why I changed the ending and I remember that  when I was first asked the question/presented with the concept of being surprised and disappointed and being surprised and excited I knew instantly that I wanted to change the ending and what it would be, now that I am nearing the end and know what I want the end to be, I am making time to write, yet I am having a hard time.  

This week’s journey to writing was not as before,  I am now back on the wagon writing and editing, and chronicling my journey here via this blog, I am struggling. This is what I want, right?  So what would be the challenge right?  Well this is how it went, I finished class and proceeded to exit the building to sit in my car and write.  Suddenly I needed to talk to everyone, I began making phone calls, and then ate lunch.  I knew that this was my writing time, and it was Monday.  So after lunch I opened the computer and found the word document draft I am working on and initially I started reading, after reading a few pages, and making a few slight changes. I quickly forward to where I need to be working and started. I wrote, and I edited.  I am still challenged with the end but for me right now I am dealing with what this means. 

At this time there is momentum, and I am grateful for the momentum in this direction because I really want to work on this project, and I am nervous and scared, so this public accountability and sharing it to let you know that  for me self love is a journey.  A part of my self-love journey is making time to do work and projects that fill me up, I also need to complete what I start. In my creative work I often have ideas and start but allow life and other obstacles to get in the way.  I am able to push past obstacles in other areas of my life but in the passion projects and creative work this has been a long standing challenge. So please know that I appreciate you if you have read this far, and I will continue to do my best to show up and get back on the wagon as many times necessary to complete this work and will be sharing along the way. 

Thank you for your support, 

Petagay